I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
