Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
