i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
