Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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