The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
