So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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