A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
