Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
