I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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