It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
