I wish i was in the wii world.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I party with great urgency now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
