I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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