Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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