I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
