im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
