Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
