OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
