She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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