and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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