Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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