Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
