hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
