I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
