Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
