threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
