Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
