My girlfriend figured out who you are.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
