I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
