So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
