she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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