ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
