i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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