I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
