what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
