omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
