i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
