I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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