If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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