i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
