No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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