shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
