I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
