I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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