erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
