Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
