ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
