I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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