He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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