A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
