i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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